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Sharing Some of My Deep Honest Thoughts from the Nineties

Sharing Some of My Deep Honest Thoughts from the Nineties
September 27, 2021

As a feminist therapist in private practice in the 1990s, I had the opportunity and privilege to work with many resilient females who shared their stories of trauma with me.

They gifted me with new insights and knowledge that made me more wholesome so I could continue to serve women and girls for many years thereafter.

As I reflect on some of the direct, honest and controversial messages that I had shared at that time, I realize that the therapeutic messages of the 90s are the same of today.

Struggles that women and girls encounter are the same then and now. The therapeutic messages remain the same.

Common messages and suggestions that I voiced to my clients then and now are consistent. These messages were also documented in handwritten form. I recently discovered them as I spent some quiet time reading through notes in my very old diaries from the 90s. I thought that I would share them with you today.

Just a few of my deep, honest thoughts from the nineties:


Learn to separate your stuff from the stuff of others. Only own your stuff!”


“Your body is not a garbage container so please don’t dump garbage in it.”

Practice saying NO without necessarily using the word No.”

“Women are giraffes. We over extend our necks. We do too much.”

Your body is yours; learn to love and accept it.”

“Always give yourself permission to forgive yourself.”

“If you feel that you are playing a game of tug of war; just drop the rope.”

“ You can’t expect others to take care of you because they may not know how or may not want to. Learn to self-care.”







Image 1: http://www.forharriet.com/2016/02/a-love-letter-to-black-women-writers.html

image 2: https://lithub.com/the-black-women-who-wrote-americas-earliest-autofiction/